Thursday, 30 July 2015

Who do you think you are?!

Hi Derek,
I see you've taken an interest in moths - could you identify this for me please?



No, I didn't think so - it's easy to separate gulls by genus isn't it?! they're 99% Larus. Do you have a copy of Skinner?!........I didn't think so....because if you did and knew about moths you probably wouldn't use it but if you knew what you were talking about you'd buy it anyway because then it would look like you knew what you were talking about!!!



Still haven't identified it? I didn't think so,

I bet you don't even know why strawberries are named strawberries, how some clampet from Annalong shaped the Middle East and why some eejit from Crossgar increased the chances of being imprisoned in a Viet Cong POW camp??? I DIDN'T THINK SO!!! I'll give you a clue, it's a Dioryctria. Can't say fairer than that Derek - now, cough up an answer or I will consider myself besmirched. I was trying so much to be nice and not angry and you're ruining it.I'm angry now. Really angry. Like, so angry I'm not going to eat my dinner. thanks Derek, you bastard. why do you always have to be such a bastard?

Yours Considerably

Vice-Admiral Artichoke.......(I was out fishing today and I ate a globe artichoke, tomorrow I might be Corporal Shotgun Fairy-cake)

radio nicebirding


Radio Nicebirding


You can't beat a bit of welsh traditional music - even if ye don't have a clue what they're on about


Recent photos


A few bits and pieces from the last few weeks, the Painted Lady was at Portmore and hard to believe the Orchid season nearly over. Its a pity the Moth season never stops maybe Crory would hibernate














Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Radio Nibirding

Turn off every electrical appliance in your house except that which you view this video on - do not move do not speak or I will have to kill you. Ssssh!


Ignore if you hate moths

Hi Derek,
People keep saying to me that you don't exist and that you're just a figment of my imagination. So if I were you I would close your imaginary eyes. I know you hate moths but I do think it's a bit extreme that you own a moth trap for no other purpose than to exterminate them. You might get into trouble over that....and your puppy farm....and the drug dealing....and the money laundering....and the backstreet boob-jobs......and the short-selling......and that video of you in the orange bra with some speccy bloke snorting something off your cleavage.....the expulsion of indigenous people from their land.........and red diesel in your car.....and the pirate turbo-folk radio station....and the salmon poaching.....and the poteen still......and the cat-killing.....and the unlicensed cheese-making.....and the shop-lifting .....and the cattle-rustling.......and the hamster-microwaving, bunny-boiling and cock-fighting........and the stringing..........or maybe I imagined all of that.


The Miller


Clouded Magpie


Do you like Moths?

Hi Derek - you don't like moths so you're probably not interested in this. Neither am I really, which is why I've started a part-time night-time course in pottery. I've realised that I missed my calling in life so I'm going to turn myself into a giant potter wasp, catch a random passer-by, paralyse them, stick them in my giant teapot and then lay an egg on top. That's my plan anyway. Here's a crap pic of a Red Carpet moth. BzzzBzzzBzzz.


Actually, I'm going to turn myself into a giant Death's Head Hawk-moth and go around stealing honey out of beehives, a much better idea. Squeak-squeak-squeak



Friday, 24 July 2015

Radio Nicebirding


Accept truth or death

The Pollotarian Revolution

Smash the state, kill god and eat only birds - then you'd be a true pollotarian....and why wouldn't you be if everything was cock-flavoured?


Pass me the gin

A new species for my porch.........there's got to be more to life than this?



Agapeta hamana


Who is Laughing now!

 Certainly not me! I went yesterday to see the Nobirds Pectoral Sandpiper, get a year tick under the belt! Got in, got the bird pointed out to me, checked and made sure two more times that this was definately the Pectoral Sandpiper. I pointed out to the 5 people there that it was a juvenile Dunlin. Blank looks, then someone said "It doesnt have a black belly!" I couldnt argue with that and left them to it but not before i seen thwe Nobirds Fosters Tern, the Rooster Tern was present also! A nice little window into Nobirds land, i wont be back soon! I left before ssomeone tried to fleece me for a tenner. Some photos i found of the Ballycastle Laughing Gull, who actually looks at the Nobirds Photo Blog? (seperate to the Nobirds Hans Christian Anderson Bird Blog) It is class, worth a look is your feeling a bit down. Now where are those Godwits?






Thursday, 23 July 2015

Radio Nicebirding


Liberty is our Gulag

They are all B's

 No its not those Nobirds lads, we are leaving them alone, we are not exposing them. We are not asking where all the money has gone, despite them going on holiday again, we are sure the money is still all there (by our estimations between 12k-15k, £10 a year for 8 years + the profits already in the coffers) althogh we cant stop laughing about the Rooster Tern at the reserve the Roseate / Fosters Tern hybrid, we think Nobirds guys might be hybrids Dumbstupidies. Here are some real Bees



Wednesday, 22 July 2015

radio nicebirding


Bad Juju

Hi Derek,
I was reading the blog this morning about the monumental UK-wide cock-up by Captain Stinko and his fat fingers when this bird appeared in the concrete in my back yard. It's been crying holy water and I'm currently looking at a line of at least 300 people from Co. Donegal queuing up my street to try and lick it - it's costing me a fortune in fruit shortcake biscuits to keep them happy. I would lay off them Nobirds lads and especially Captain Underpants, they obviously have some seriously shit-hot contacts in the vatican.




We are not exposing Nobirds


Andrew contacted me last night and said we should do a Blog exposeing Nobirds for what they are but i had to say no to that idea because how do you expose sheer stupidity! Take yesterdays Nobirds fiasco because that is what it was. When i heard there was a Fosters Tern at the Reserve i never bothered, just drove into work (a 5 minute diversion would have taken me to the reserve) a wise decision. I knew the Keystone Cops where on the job and texting and ringing friends we all decided not to bother going and we all reckoned it was a Nobirds Cock Up! As it turned out several hours later after being broadcast all round the UK and Ireland the bird was a Roseate Tern! The observer never even claimed a Fosters Tern! Without checking and confirming this major UK and Ireland rarity Nobirds went viral! Mr Stupid later tried to claim it was an auto correct Keyboard error! But we know it wasnt, it was just him being a Tosser! We will tell the full story in our 2015 report as it is brilliant! I fielded calls from Ireland and UK and told them the truth and while we had a good laugh at Nobirds expense it really wasnt funny. So no Andrew we wont expose those Nobirds guys they are doing a great job all by themselves! Their new report i am being told will be out next week, look forward to recieeveing my copy as ive paid £20 for it!





My new moth traps

These seem to be working quite well - no new species but it's only a matter of time





On today's curry menu - Lehm e Murgan, 'invigorating lamb curry' with potatoes and tomato chutney. Always goes well with a bit of Urusei Yatsura.