Friday, 6 May 2016


Eddie Izzard  once said on stage in the Ulster Hall there is more chance of a Nobirds Report appearing on my doormat than there is of me seeing a Belted Kingfisher in Northern Ireland. Eddie known for his rapid wit and repartee and his offbeat tangents was kind of half right and half wrong. In a Louis Theroux expose it turned out Eddie didn't own a doormat and just rented a door (he couldn't get a mortgage as comedy is just seasonal). Why hasn't anyone made Oceans 15? George Clooney must be nearly 60 by now and will they ever make another Fight Club? The first rule of flight club is don't send Nobirds a tenner, that will be the last you will ever see of that! Majella once heard a Belted Kingfisher, this is a true story and I didn't believe her, absolutely true, five minutes later we were watching Belted Kingfisher and all this took place in Ireland. All this didn't take place in my mind but in County Galway and even more surreal five minutes later Larry McGarry appeared can it get anymore weird? Yes it can because just 2 minutes later Larry disappeared not to Hooded Merganser heaven but to Achill Island, I often suspected Larry was actually Emu because he always looked as if Rod Hull had his hand up his well pressed slacks. But I digress I haven't seen an Ivory Gull in Northern Ireland because lets face it who has? Norman Milligan once found an Ivory Gull in Bangor but moved to Scotland to avoid press intrusion. Walter H Veale one of the nicest men on the planet and he also knows an inordinate amount about ancient monuments in County Down once seen an Ivory Gull and then some people seen his bare arse, another true story! Mr Crory also seen an Ivory Gull but kept his not very well pressed trousers on but bizarre as it seems a Belted Kingfisher once turned up at Dundrum just yards from his house and his dad shot it, it gets even more bizarre. For punishment his dad was forced to open a shoe shop in Newcastle until Donald Trump became President of the USA it all links. Dave Hadrick who hasn't even seen a Kingfisher in Northern Ireland is forced every Easter to go to Cyprus to watch large gull species in Cyprus by Gull Floozy Orcilla who has found new ways to tell Hugliens from Black Headed and Little Gull from Belted Kingfisher  Dave once proclaimed from his garden "I cant see anything without my glass of cider"
So ladies and jellyspooons was there a Nobirds Belted Kingfisher? The photo above tells us that there was a Belted Kingfisher in Northern Ireland (thanks to my mum Mrs Charles for the above photo)

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Glossy Ibis

 Some shockingly bad photos of  the Portmore Glossy Ibis! Bad yes they are but much better than the Nobirds Golden Eagle and even better than the Nobirds big expose the Belted Kingfisher! At long last I met the Nobirds Mr Birdguides at Portmore and she was hiding right under my nose, it is none other than Majella Callaghan who found the Portmore Garganey!! Nobirds for some reason did not report the Portmore White Tailed Eagle that Ed Ohara found, very strange!

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Raven Mad / Glossy Ibis

 Nobirds have gone all Raven mad on us, and it came out of nowhere we were not really expecting that! Here are some displaying Ruff at Dargan just mildly more interesting than reports of Ravens.
But some bird news at last yesterday afternoon 2 GLOSSY IBIS were seen in flight at Carryduff heading east (Billy Miskelly)

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

radio nicebirding

who needs the religion? listen to this! It's all become clear to me now

We are here to educate you

What a weekend of education Nobirds provided us, well as they have said "we are here to educate you" and boy they delivered in spades. I have to say when I read about the Colossal views of the White Tailed Eagle I had to ring up my old English teacher and shout abuse down the phone! Surely Colossal is an adjective but then my teacher said "its not those Nobirds boys again" and he was right and I calmed down. He did say Colossal is an adjective but not in Nobirds Land. Now the White Tailed Eagle could be described as "Colossal" but "colossal views" I am not so sure.
So I looked up the meaning of Colossal and informal whacking is interesting in Nobirds terms!! (see below)
It was extra good of the Nobirds guys to educate us more, well we do need it when they pointed out the size difference between the White Tailed Eagle and the Buzzard , hey we wouldn't have noticed, cheers! Great photos by the way!
Here are 2 pictures of an almost white Black Tailed Godwit from Ardmore on Sunday I did not have colossal views of it, I had shite views of it (another adjective I think!). A calling Corncrake was nearby, the sounds were brobdingmagian (again see below)
Adjective: Colossal extremely large or great.
huge, massive, enormous, gigantic, very big, very large, great, giant, mammoth, vast, cosmic, immense, tremendous, mighty, stupendous, monumental, epic, prodigious, mountainous, monstrous, titanic, towering, elephantine, king-sized, king-size, gargantuan, Herculean, Brobdingnagian;

 The godwit is the white blob at the back

Friday, 22 April 2016


He might have been bonkers but we will miss him....

It is not difficult to get links from Prince to Nobirds, he lived half way round the world from Northern Ireland so there is little doubt that Nobirds would have asked him to join their records committee, help with all those records of American Wood Warblers we get and Prince was brilliant and Nobirds are shite, its not that difficult really

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

I miss Flapline

The Green Sandpiper above has just visited the Nobirds page!! Lets face it they are shite. Anyone go for the large Raptor in Antrim? What about the juvenile Golden Eagle in the Antrim Hills, had to snigger at that one a good two months before juveniles fledge in Scotland they must be breeding in the Antrim Hills and breeding early!! I hope the Records Committee accept that one!! Its large raptor silly season with Nobirds with another Golden Eagle in the Antrim Hills (14th April) must be one of the adults of the juvenile!! The 31st March post about a Buzzard at Whitehead was classic more likely a White Tailed Eagle, post the bloody description let us all decide! They upgraded the Eagle at Toome on 29th March to a White Tailed after a shaky start, there are more Eagles in Nobirds Land than there are on Mull, why people go there to look at Eagles is beyond me just look into the Nobirds Sky they are everywhere!
I see they have put a Police Crimestoppers number up I think I will ring it and ask them if they can stop the crimes against Northern Ireland Birding that those Toossers are perpetuating!
They continue to report sightings of one of our rarest breeding birds the Red Kite during the breeding season one which they repeatedly report is near the nest site, wise up just wise up again after a big lengthy post about Red Kites on 5th May! Read your own bloody posts as well as posting photographs of another rare breeding bird at or near their nest site again you litterly couldn't make it up and this was after a big announcement that were not were posting birds at the nest
Looks like they posted the wrong photo of the Scandinavian Rock Pipit on 30th March would be nice to see the photo of the Scandinavian
Finally the only bird worth a toot last weekend the female American Wigeon they reported it from the WRONG location, it was actually seen at the RSPB Reserve why do they get these things wrong? Surely if they left their garden sheds and went and looked for these things they would know, most of the stay at home Nobirders live within 10 mile of the reserve many even closer! Too much like hard work, much better to look out the shed windows at the migrating flocks of Eagles
Here are some photos of a Hoopoe, Cormorant and Long Legged Buzzard none of which were taken in Northern Ireland although no doubt they will start reporting Long Legged Buzzards in the Antrim Hills as they do like to nest near pairs of Golden Eagles
I miss Flapline