Wednesday, 28 January 2015

More gull fun!

 Birding in Northern Ireland isnt great which is why i moved to Cork, that and to get away from Andrew. Andrwew says he is doing a 2013 bird report but i dont believe me, he also owes me £20 as i paid his last two years Nobirds membership, money well spent i would say

Utter Crap!!!

Some complete crap from Dreek. he said he would fill my inbox with lewd photos of the Slaty-backed Gull if I didn't post detailed photos of the primary pattern. I said 'fair enough, I'm phoning the police you pervert'. I think it's pretty fair to say that looking at these pics he's in a lot of trouble....and these are just the really tame ones!

Monday, 26 January 2015

Saturday, 17 January 2015

Mega Alert! Slaty-backed Gull

Dreek (otherwise known as Mr Birdguides)  has found a Slaty-backed Gull at Killybegs - another gull that looks like every other gull - should he be congratulated for that?

Tuesday, 13 January 2015


 Anyone head for the pair of Nobirds Goshawks this morning, class, can they get any better i think they can!! A few Ring Billed Gull photos from Derry City

Monday, 12 January 2015

The Invisible Chiffchaffs!

 Ever since the rather amazing announcement from Nobirds of 5 yes FIVE Siberian Chiffchaffs at Oxford Island they have suddenly become invisible. I have walked the total area 3 times and the best i came up with was one Common Chiffchaff (not the bird in the photos) What is going on? There is something sinister afoot. Here are photos of the purported Siberian Chiffchaff, please note the finders did not call it a Siberian Chiffchaff, they called it a possible Siberian Chiffchaff but it was those corner boys at Nobirds that upgraded it to its full status despite not hearing it call or even seeing it, now thats magic

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Defineatly not Moths

 Between Andrew's dirty stinking moths and the Nobirds laugh a minute routine i have been flushed out! No word if there are ten Siberian Chiffchaffs now at Oxford Island but the winter thrush survey was a dissapointment, not one Blackbird, Song Thrush or Mistle Thrush recorded, i think we need to call the Thrush Police to see if they can get to the bottom of it! Here are some Iceland Gull all action photos, you never see an all action shot of a Moth and at least they are not moths, or a Chiffchaff (remmber if anyone hears any of the Oxford Island Chiffchaffs get straight on to Nobirds) or  photos of Ruddy Ducks at locations we dont know about! Late news, text from Andrew there are 9 (yes a big fat Nobirds 9) Great White Egrets in the roost at Dundrum as well as a possible Long Tailed Tit

Monday, 5 January 2015

They keep them coming!

Yes Nobirds have decided to go Turbo in 2015 and have announced that the Siberian Chiffchaffs are breeding at Oxford Island. This is indeed exciting news and they have become our rarest breeding bird apart from the Ruddy Duck! I digress a second as everyone in the world knows the location of the Ruddy Ducks but Nobirds keep posting photos of them from "Lough Neagh" Leave them alone Nobirds, wise up!
But back to the breeding Siberian Chiffchaffs. The young are born with no wings as they stay in exactly the same spot to be counted! Others those with a big of sense have seen the Chiffchaff fly about i personally have seen the same bird at three seperate locations!!!
The all time classic is at the end of the post is they assk if anyone has sheard them call please contact them!! Pure Gold!! Why are they reporting Siberian Chiffchaffs that they havent heard!! So are they / it actually Siberian Chiffchaffs, we look forward to the Nobirds pronouncement ion the meantime there will probably be ten birds there today, they are prolific breeders! Go Nobirds!

Saturday, 3 January 2015

A new year but the samr old Nobirds McGarrys

They really are class!
The Snowy Owl sitting in a garden! One of their absolute best! Why do they enterain rubbish like this? Evidence if evidence is needed that they don't know what they are doing!
Siberian Chiffer, for a start how many are there? One or two? Why are they calling them Siberian?  Who heard it or them call? Very Nobirds mysterious! Come clean Nobirds
Nobirds January 2nd
Come on who is going to twitch the Bullfinch
Nobirds New years day
Where is the brambling? Hillhead Road where?
Nobirds Happy New Year
No thank you from Adam! Had Adam jumped ship or have Nobirds hierarchy forgot him!
Who is thid Birdguides fella, come clean Nobirds, lazy lazy Nobirds
30th December
Lovely photo of a Mink. However a Mink is not a birf, Naughty Nobirds
Patchwork Challenge
Classic!  So much could be said, but when was the Feas Petrel? Suppressed? Are Nobirds advocating suppression?
Nobirds 29th December
Great White Egret, absolute classic again!
Nobirds 28th December
Treecreeper, Castlerock, anyone?
Nobirds 26th December
Jay in garden, Kells, yes Nobirds give you all the news!

Thats only the past week, time to make a return!  So a nee year, perhaps Nobirds will now produce a report, 2009 report is overdue? Perhaps they will tell us where all the moneys gone?

Thursday, 18 December 2014

Shock Moth News

Anybody reading this will probably wish I just bog off like a good little hybrid. So, here we go again - The Cosmopolitan Moth Leucania loreyi trapped this morning, first record for Northern Ireland.

A pitiful photo but then it's better than any of Derk the Berk's recent photos e.g. there are none. Right in the middle of plastic-bag-seagull season and with dubious flocculating quacks for insane smelly people to look at and there isn't a peep out of him? Do you know why? It's because he doesn't live in this country anymore, he's a Belgian.

Anyway I'm away out to celebrate, stick on a bit of slap, my size 12 high heels and hit the town for advocaat spritzers. See you later girlfriends.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

radio nibirding

Ring-necked tufted ducks floating on poo ponds is about as good as it gets if you restrict yourself to birds, like a big smelly cheesy wotsit I'm guessing. There's plenty of other interesting flora and fauna out there if you take the time to ingest it - I ate a strange glowing mushroom what seemed like 3 weeks ago this morning and it was all exactly like this this

Monday, 15 December 2014

radio nibirding

got a postcard from Derek today, which is odd as it says he's living in Bryansford only 3 miles up the road from me. I hope he isn't in another of his 'stalking Andrew' modes again. You would have thought the kicking I gave him the last time would have warned him off but now I'm worried it might have encouraged him. Still, if I play Stereolab at him it acts like a dog whistle in reverse.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

radio nibirding

and a Polly Jean Harvey in a Pear Tree?

Thursday, 4 December 2014

Late in the year..............

........but still plenty of time for moth-trapping.

Crocidosema plebejana taken this morning at Murlough NNR - 1st record for Northern Ireland. Another case of 'Get in there!'

Now, many of you may be wondering why this moth is dead - this has got nothing to do with me. It travelled here from many thousands of miles away in search of a Not Interesting Boring Association Pyramid Scheme Bird Report. He'd been paying a tenner a year for the last 6 years, sucking in every lie the Larry McGarry's were feeding him. Being a micro moth with a teeny weeny brain he was easily taken in and took what Captain Stinko (Human Excrement Reservoir Specialist) said in good faith. When he made contact to tell them he was coming to Northern Ireland to collect his outstanding bird reports they emailed back with a simple '£10' reply as usual - yet he still refused to think badly of what on the outside seemed like good missionary-type folk. A simple google search of 'evilnobirdsmoneystealingmcgarrys' would have saved all that effort. I found him languishing in the corner of my moth trap this morning, I was initially alerted by the sobbing sounds underneath a battery hen eggbox and asked what the matter was. He (I later found out that his name was Jimmy Bird, which is an odd name for a moth) explained that, after a long and difficult journey, he had arrived in our noble country (known the world over for its Veda bread invented in England) to seek out the famous Worshipful Masters of the McGarry. He had the extra money they requested and required only a copy of their legendary report. I tried to break it to him gently and explained that their report was indeed legendary - it did not exist. I tried to console him with tales of how Derk the Berk (who now lives in Scotland) provides 5 years worth of bird reports for free (minus all the shit bits). After a short period of vacant reflection he topped himself. I have never told a lie in my life and I'm not about to start now.

We could have talked it through, had a rational conversation, gathered up some rudimentary weapons like armalites and rpgs (the common or garden everyday stuff you find lying about in fields around here) and assaulted the evil nobirds fortress (which is shaped like a giant wood duck). With some proper planning we could have mustered several hundred peasants with pitchforks to throw themselves mercilessly upon the unchanged swathes of irrelevant text concerning common and breeding resident birds, allowing us to exploit an opening between the disingenuous photocredits attributed to obviously shite pics, to quickly wade through the wide plains of non-existent references. Most of the evil nobirds would surrender quickly (being utter coward yellow-belly maker-uppers) and spill the beans on all the other divs - harry, barry, larry, garry (the funny one) and Capt. Stinko. Five elderly men, with the combined personality attributes of a bag of soggy humous crossed with a jar of hernias, would be tried, swiftly duffed up, given wedgies and exiled to the ToysRus bargain bucket section. Jimmy could get his tenner back, fly back home and Northern Ireland would be clean again. Alas I never got to tell him snf. snf. Selfish git.

Here's a golden-oldie xmas tune. five sweaty fingers on the dashboard

Monday, 1 December 2014

Northern Ireland Environmental Apocalypse

Time to emigrate from NI before the shit hits the fan - Derk has already done a runner down south. Dust off your Tonka blunderbusses and let's rise up and deprive the bourgeois Nobirds of all the cash raised during their evil Membership Pyramid Scheme Dictatorship. Old bird reports won't feed my children!!

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Radio Nibirding - where is Derk?

I'll tell you where he is  - he's moved to the Republic of Ireland.

Monday, 10 November 2014

Lego Derk

radio nibirding

this is much better....kill all the lego people!!!

boring old moth news

ho hum, aren't moths rubbish? I much prefer punishing myself by walking around looking for non-existant migrant birds in Northern Ireland. No, actually that would be Derk. Poor, poor Derk and his multifarious attempts to break into the record industry. From his childhood days as a human footstool for Philomena Begley, through his formative years as Daniel O'Donnells ashtray all Derk has ever dreamed of  is becoming a irish-traditional-prog-rock-new-romantic-yodelling star. no surprises he's got nowhere with that but he's persistent, I'll give him that

here's some crap moths from ages ago that keep jumping into my moth-trap and one other that's a 1st for Northern Ireland but who cares about that? that's for dweebs.

Rusty-dot Pearl

Silver Y


rush veneer

Spolodea recurvalis...., nice one

Here's a very political song sung by lego people - we are all lego people now.