Saturday, 22 January 2011

Black Duck Contagion Spreads

This exclusive photo proves the magnitude of the Black Duck problem now facing Northern Ireland.

The controversy around the mishandled initial announcement of the Black Duck at Ward Park in Bangor has led to calls for calm at the United Nations but this hasn't stopped the price of brent crude spiralling. Hopes of a global economic recovery were on the brink of meltdown due to confusion caused by the unregulated antics of Harry, Larry and Barry and their heavy-breathing sidekick. UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon stated 'If those bunch of eejits knew what they were doing then this would never have happened and could have been quietly controlled. Now we are in the situation of complete panic as the Black Duck contagion starts to take hold. I warn the people of the world that, despite our best efforts, Harry, Larry and Barry (and their heavy-breathing sidekick) have created a monster that will prevent our children, and their children's children the opportunity of adding Mallard Duck to their list'.

If you spot a Black Duck please contact the police immediately - DO NOT APPROACH, this strain of Black Duck has a particularly nasty quack and it's possible a correctly placed peck could break the skin.