Friday, 29 April 2011

Undercover Elephant




Using the Royal Wedding as cover i slipped across the border once more. I always new it would be an Alexander McQueen dress with a 5 foot train. And that everyone would be wearing a hat by some hat guy in the south (39 people!, thats a lot of hats at 5000 y0yos a touch.)
With a trip list of 3 i abandonded the car and checked in. Why is it always so much easier here than in Belfast? No asking if you packed it yourself, if you have a baby panda in your bag, no weighing hand luggage just a cheery hello and a quick wink with her left eye. Through security no problem after i explained to them that i had a metal plate in my head and thats why i kept setting the alarm bells off.
Moments later disaster struck, i got mugged. In broad daylight in Dublin Airport. 15 yoyos for Shepherd's Pie. Well, i wasn't having that but after the girl at the checkout explained she was in the Russian Mafia i had to cough up. It was good however with real mince and some nice vegatables. But 15 big yoyos i don't think so!!! I did nick some butter when she wasn't looking so that saved me 20 cents, a small victory against The MAN.
So i set about getting my own back. immediate success, free baileys and whiskey tasting. I think 16 free samples was a bit over the top but i had to wash the taste of Rip-off Ireland out of my mouth. I staggered towards Boots. Some 2 for 1 deal, i will have a bit of that, don't know what it is but it smells good. 34 yoyos bound to be good at that price and i suspect its pure alchohol into the bargain so will have a bottle on the plane.
Talents good however, despite being pie-eyed, and the good weather really brings the big girls out if you know what i mean. I suspect none of them are Dub Girls except for the load of girls (who like their food) who are going to Bernie's Hen Nite in Benidorm (pink t shirts!) I do hope Bernies future husband has a stag month and keeps drinking even on the day of the wedding, you really wouldn't want to sober up!
Decided to play the unattended bag game but like all airports they are all talk and no action and my bag hasn't been blown up yet! I live in hope.
Must go as they keep calling my name or at least i think it is as they keep saying Passenger Charles Final Call.

Cheery Pip

Derek

PS got completely ripped off on this internet thing, 39 cents a minute. I typed the quickest i ever typed in my life!
Should get bail in morning.