Friday, 15 April 2011

Universally Challenged Again!!

Good evening and welcome to another edition of Universally Challenged with me, your host, Arnold Boring!

It's been an interesting competition so far with Nobirds Playskool setting a record for the worst score we have ever had on this show. If you would like to see how exceptionally poor they were the last time click on the following link:

http://nibirding.blogspot.com/2011/03/universally-challenged.html

Anyway, onto this episode and this time Nobirds Playskool are universally challenged by Baaaath University.

Welcome Baaaath, it's good to meet you and if previous perfomances are anything to go by this should be a doddle. I don't mind saying but your opponents seem to be a bunch of utter chumps that I am ashamed to share the same island with, to paraphrase the great Sad and Lonely.



......and a good evening (or should that be good riddance) to Nobirds Playskool



Right, you all know the rules (except possibly you Nobirds)  starter question for ten points, fingers at the ready.....

  • Has Asiatic Brown Flycatcher occurred in Northern Ireland?

NOBIRDS! STINKO MCGARRY


"That would be a no"


No I'm afraid you lose ten points the answer is yes - Copeland Islands, 24th October 1971. Although the mind boggles why somebody completely unqualified like yourself should be allowed to arbitrate on such a matter! You lose ten points and your reputation.
  • How much is a family membership for the NIBA?
Nobirds Harry McGarry!!



'£10'

Sorry Nobirds there is no policy for Families or Children or Students or OAPS or Unemployed etc. Lose Ten Points and public sympathy.

  • How much for a membership if you go to a talk?







Nobirds Barry McGarry!!


'£10'

Sorry Nobirds, incorrect, someone decided it was £7. Talk about upsetting the apple cart, presuming you know what a cart and an apple are. Lose ten points but increase your notoriety


How much is it to ring FLAPLINE these days?

Nobirds Barry McGarry!!



'£10'

Sorry Nobirds..... and that member is disqualified as seemingly all he can say is '£10', are you sure this isn't some kind of automated response? That would be cheating, you lose ten points and your integrity.

  • Have you ever been stupid enough to contact other people to claim that we make sightings up even though it is plainly obvious that people like Bob Marley, Englebert Humperdinck and the lead singer out of Men at Work do not birdwatch in Northern Ireland?


NOBIRDS! STINKO MCGARRY
 


"That would be a no"

No, I'm afraid you did because you were caught and I have the evidence. Ha ha ha!

  • Have you ever leaked confidential information on the proceedings of the Not Interesting Boring Association Rarities Committee?

NOBIRDS! STINKO MCGARRY




"That would be a no"

No, I'm afraid you're wrong you lose ten points, you told us loads of things we shouldn't have heard. It's a wonder anybody sends in records anymore given such unprofessionalism. You lose ten points and your credibility.

Are any Northern Ireland Birders interested in Moths, Butterflies, Mammals, Plants etc?

Nobirds Larry McGarry!





'No they are only interested in Birds.'


Lose ten points again Nobirds and don't be so stupid.

  • When is the AGM of Not Interesting Boring Association usually held?
Nobirds Larry McGarry!



'Every year whether there is anything to discuss or not, hence the use of the word Annual'

Lose ten points again and there goes everything except your reliability for getting things wrong, AGM is every 5 years.

BONG!!!!


And there's the gong........Well, I afraid I'm going to have to stop you there Nobirds - you've got next to no self-esteem left and there's only so much of a kicking you can dish out in a day without it becoming tedious. I'd like to say you've been good sports but I don't think you understand the concept of rules, chairmanship or even common courtesy.



Well done Baaaath University - not what you would call a triumph given the opposition were so laughable but such is life. Join us next week when we give the nobirds team a real good thrashing again. Goodbye!