Sunday, 31 July 2011


Andrew rang me this evening and said that we had 222 Posts on this months Blog. I near crashed the car, absolute nightmare!! 222 is Double Nelson a very unlucky number, so i drove home at 120 mph (managed not to spill a drop of the quadruple vodka and coke i was drinking) and stuck this post on.
We don't feature enough goats on this blog and this is the first goat picture we have featured this month. However it is the 525th photo on the blog this month!! Unbelieveable and i don't believe it but our friend Stato McNeill from Dunmurry has sent us the following breakdown of our photos posted:
181 Bird Photos (mostly from Northern Ireland)
104 Pacific Golden Plover (all from Myroe, NI)
54 Other type (inc exclusive Pantymime Horse photos)
30 Spot The Bird
29 Butterfly
28 Flower / Orchid
24 Gull
21 Moth
21 Dead things
9 Insects
3 Chickens
and 1 Goat

It really is a lovely goat

Bird News Sunday 31st July

In Co. Down:
The 2 Whooper Swan at Dundrum Inner Bay South have issued a joint statement to the effect that the only way they're leaving is if somebody leaves £10,000 in unmarked notes on a picnic bench at the 12 Arches car park. Most of the statement went 'Honk, honk, honk' but you could tell what they were on about. A Larry McGarry Egret was also present, he said he'd pay us money if we'd be his friend. Not a chance.

In Co.Londonderry:
58 Golden Plover, 250 Dunlin, 1 Sanderling and 120 Ringed Plover were on the Turf Lawn Fields at Myroe

3 Peregrines were at Umbra (M.Callaghan)

Thanks to Peter O'Prey for this classic shot of a Sparrowhawk, and it's lunch, taken in Belfast.


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Orchids the Noo!!

Thanks to our Scottish correspondent Rab McHighlandboundaryfault for this:

The Broad Leaved Helleborine Epipactis helleborine. mainly a woodland edge /glade orchid.

Pollinated by social wasps. the pollen sacks (pollinia) stick to the wasps eyes until it visits another orchid and completes the pollination by depositing them on the stigma.
The nectar in Epipactis helleborine is alcoholic. The wasp is part pissed with two blobs of plant sperm stuck to its eyes, this results in the unfortunate insect being very angry. 
These orchids are common in Central Scotland and no one knows why.
I also stuck on a pic of some very nice common spotted orchids.
Thanks Rab!!A bloke told me the other day that some people in Scotland live over 250 miles from the nearest shop. He was being serious. This a true story. I cannot name the individual, you'll have to hack my phone

Chamber of Horrors is Watching You

Another classic Chamber of Horrors - Sunday seems to be the best day to post dead things on the blog. This one was found on Ballyholme beach by Dave and Orcilla Hadrick out for a walk to see if any bales of marijuana had washed ashore. It used to be a whole gannet but Chez Vealz could smell it from his restaurant in lisburn and jumped in his car as fast as he could. There was a big fight and Chef Vealz managed to wrestle it off the Hadricks and ate it whole. He spat out the head.

Spot the Bird 337

Answer to 336: Lesser Yellowlegs

Sunday Surprise

They may have gone but luckily for us the photos keep rolling in. These brilliant photos of the Pacific Golden Plovers were sent in by Kim Jonh - Il who apologised for being so late sending them to us but he had forgot his laptop and couldn't down load the photos until he returned to the Fatherland.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Bird News Saturday 30th July

In Co. Down:
A Kingfisher and 7 Larry McGarry Egret were at Dundrum Inner Bay South

An Osprey was at the Qoile Pondage

Co. Londonderry:
An Osprey and 4 Ruff were at Lough Beg

In Co.Antrim
A Mealy Redpoll and 2 Red Grouse were at Slieveanora
A Female Hen Harrier was in the Antrim Hills.

Thanks to Alistair Prentice for these shots taken in the grounds of Armagh Observatory

Late News from Yesterday:
Solitary Raven seen at Cairndhu, two Sparrowhawks in Carnfunnock forest and two Carrion crow feeding on the ground at Carnfunnock driving range (Gavin Ferguson)

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Spot the Bird 336

Answer to 335: Pectoral Sandpiper

More Moths- 30th July

Thanks to Gavin Ferguson for this pic of a Magpie Moth

No Birds

Haha!! You all thought I was gonna have a swipe at the nobirds lads again didn't you? Don't worry, I'll save that for later on. These pics are from Ciaran Mullan from a recent trip to China. There's no birds in these pics. Thanks Ciaran but you still have to send me the pics with the birds!!

Friday, 29 July 2011

Bird News Friday 29th July

Thanks to Ronald Surgenor for this photo of a Common Sandpiper

There is an irruption of Two Barred Crossbills underway in Scandanavia at present with 2 birds seen in the UK the last couple of days. The last Irish bird was a brief autumn bird in Cork a couple of Autumn's ago.Hopefully a more accomodating one might hang around this time and why not one in Northern Ireland!

Co. Down:
2 Whooper Swan (although we're not sure there could be dozens of different birds over the last month or so, maybe we're seeing different birds everyday. How would you know? I think that's a question that could only be answered by the Nobirds Indispensable Bird And Relaxation Committee. So we ask you nobirds......How many Whooper Swans?!??!)

Sorry, got a bit distracted there. There were also 3 Larry McGarry Egrets (Dave and Orcilla Hadrick) How many Whooper Swans nobirds!? How many?!

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Spot the Bird 335

Answer to 334: Golden Plover

Thursday, 28 July 2011

New Competition

We haven't had a competition for a while, at least not since we were sued by Jeremy Thorpe who insisted there was 6 juvenile Willow Warblers in the nest. The Judge threw the case out and our Lawyers say we can now start a new competition.

This is an easy one! Name that bird and we are giving no clues except an anagram of its name is Lenders Illedb Urlewc

Pwize is an autumns birding on Inishmore! 8 weeks birding seeing absolutely nothing but getting a sore arse in the process (from rideing a bike, i know ive done it!) You will also be supplied with 112 litres off Vodka because believe me you will need it!
Answer and winner on Monday.

100 not out!

Unbelieveable, can you believe it? We certainly can't! This is the 100th picture of Pacific Golden Plover posted on this blog, this month! (Nobirds posted 42 bird photos of all species this month, o dear)

This average enough picture of the first summer female was sent in by Robert Mugabe who was at Myroe to see how farming methods in the North West were progressing. But this will definately be the last photo ever of this bird to appear on this blog unless the photo is sent to us by a dictator or somebody we like who asks us nicely.

Harry, Barry, Larry and Garry, Four Go Wild

Larry: What I wouldn't do for my beloved Nobirds report to be near me now, caressing my soul with words of enchantment and delight, soothing the beating, throbbing, pulsating impetuous beast in my heart! Its only £10 for members, £7 for new members and 15 euros for those eejits in the South

Garry: Ah! Get back foul beast that scratches at the centre of my brain. You make me ill. I've seen your kind before. All Greenhanks and Wobblers.Somebody put the kettle on, i need a cup of tea.

Harry: Boys! Boys! Stop the bitching. We have much more pressing matters on our hands. Like what are we going to do about the next Nobirds report for squaresville? I mean, are we going to churn out the same crap or are we going to turn out the same crap ? Nice cup of tea by the way Garry. Hey Larry have you any choccie biscuits?

Barry Hey Garry, do that funny thing you do, you know the funny thing

Garry: Well. I'm not selling myself for £10 - the same old boring crap I say, hurrah! Sorry no Choclate Digestives, but we have some Jammy Dodgers (paid for by the members subscriptions) But hey this tea isn't Tetley! Whats going on? By the way has anybody updated Flapline?

Larry: Don't be so bolshy, smolshy. Of course you will. What other alternative is there? Flapline, like 10p a second for nothing, why who in their right mind would ring that? What about Coffee instead of tea? This Punjana rubbish is as bad as our report!

Garry: Millions, except you never get to hear of them. To hell with this coffee has anyone any hard liquer. I need it being in this bloody committee! O sorry im not on the unconstituted, unregulated Committee, wheres the Whiskey?

Barry: Please do that funny thing you do, please, before i fall asleep

Larry: You sound like a punk reject on '78, Garry. Liquer, this meetings making me want to inject Vodka straight into my veins or eyeballs.

Garry: (Annoyed) Well that might be true but why bother? I mean with their whims, wishes and wash outs? They'll have changed their tune in 60 years time anyway. Ignore the bore. Forget the rules. Create your own and then go with the flow. Has anyone got any Coke? I need a line or two ive just rang flapline.

Harry: Well I'm just young, free and want a tingle! Does that make me dumb, chum? This cocaines not working has anyone got any Heroin?

Garry: Everyone is Harry. There's nothing left to learn anymore. It's all been said before. The only thing left to shock and be shocked with is animal sex and you can get that on the Nibirding blog. Brings a whole new meaning to the word blog! doesn't it. What time you got?

Larry: Time you shut up Garry. You're just ranting. You haven't got any solutions. Its time we started Mainlineing Heroin.

Barry: Please please please, do that funny thing you do Garry

Garry: No,That's because you've got to create your own dumbo. I haven’t got any answers, only for myself. Look. be suss to the fuss If you want what's on offer, then fine, there will always be someone ready to flog you a copy for a tenner. See people like to file things and have files to go too. It's far better if you elude their alphabet and devise your own code.Dig it daddio! I love Whino, Black to Back what an album, i can't find a vein or a pulse

Larry: (Cynically) So what would they file you under mastermind? Vein? I can't find a brain?

Garry: (Smugly) Oh. I couldn't tell you that brother You’d only be out and about tomorrow trying to buy Nature Treks to match. I need more herion. I am funny

Larry: Clever clogs! Whens the report coming out man? I love it, its like really shiny and cheaper than loo roll.

Barry: Please i beg you Garry, do that funny thing.

Garry: You might call them that. Then again...time to ring an ambulance for both Nobirds and the Committee, they are Flatlineing. Oh sorry I mean flaplining
OK Barry i will do that funny thing.........


Arctic Tern (Poem)

Another first for this little blog is a wonderful poem sent to us by Cecil B Demille (Co.Armagh).This was inspired by Ronalds photograph yesterday and also by the lifestyle of this amazing bird.
So many thanks to our mystery contributor for bringing style, elegence, intelligence and a little bit of class to this show!

Arctic Tern

A little masked phantom, you take to ocean skies
With a huge heart and begin your colossal journey.
Endurance fans apart your slender angel wings,
Printing the air with sun filtered feathered longitude.

Long distance is a streaming swallow-tailed voyager
Who eases the bipolar arc with determined navigation.
Epic weaving traveller with a compass pointing soul ward,
Freely meandering the meridians over Atlantic waves.

Biannual summering opens up the circumpolar passages
To your body, undiminished by hungry winds and climes,
From the tip of your bill that blazes in northerly grassy nesting,
To the little red feet that resume the Antarctic shores.

(Cecil B Demille)


We all know Ian Dickey has the largest stuffed bird collection north of Ballynure but he really is taking the perverbial this time. He has adapted one of his stuffed Whinchats and added a propellor to make it into a super hero bird the Whinchopter! Ian hopes to sell the idea to a Hollywood Film Studio and expects it to Whinchopter to become the new Batman.(By the way the new Batman movie is on its way, it looks to be really mad and cool!)

Thanks Ian another (stuffed bird) cracker!

Sinister (Weeping Angel)

Black Guillemots are well known for being Doctor Who fans. Ronald Surgenor has brilliantly captured one of the Doctor Who baddies The Weeping Angel (aka the Lonely Assasins) in this great picture.

The Angels (here the bird in the background) pocess a unique defence mechanism, the Angels are Quantum Locked! They can only move when no living creature includeing their own kind is not looking at them. As soon as they are observed they instantly turn to stone and cannot be killed.

The Angels have an abilty send other beeings into the past, this allows them to feen on potential time enegry on what could have been the rest of their victims lives!

PSNI (Photographs)

When the Police raided the Hadricks last night they siezed Orcills Camera Memory Card expecting it to show lots of pictures of Gangsters and Molls along with lines of Cocaine. They were in for a shock when the following photos appeared on their screens!

Luckily my contact in the Serious Crime Squad has forwarded these onto me! Look how mad that first thing looks, whatever it is! Dave said that he is a Chimney Sweep in the Alicante area.

We Got Him!

Lord Lucan was never found, Ronnie Biggs was on the run for about 25 years and it took the combined might of the US and the UK 10 years to track down Osama Bin Laden. The SAS and US Navy Seals are rank amatuers compared to our very own Delta Force who after only a week of searching have tracked down the Worlds Number One Fugitive the Co.Down Pantymime Horse. The Pantymime Horses crimes include "Trampling the PGP's to Death" "Walking off the Stage at the Lyric Theatre in the middle of Julius Ceaser because his hat fell off" "Baking bread you couldn't even feed to Seagulls" "Poisioning an entire Audience at the Lyric with some Jam Doughnuts" "Interfering with an Albatross" and too many other crimes to mention on a child friendly blog.

Below a picture by Mike Davis of Delta Force in action.
Below the first photograph of the fugitive who has been hiding out in the Tora Bora Caves at Ballintoy. He is virtually unrecognisable with extensive plastic surgery and a different ribbon on his Prat Hat. Delta Force tracked him down by following the trail of Plover and Snipe Feathers to his Lair. There was also a strong smell of Brandy Balls at the Tora Bora Caves at Ballintoy. He also made regular trips to the Newsagents in Portrush to read the Ulster Tattler.

When caught he commented " I want to be the front end, why can i not be the front end, ya ya, boo sucks to Harry Hun" Very Bizzare

Spoon Billed Sandpiper

OK, OK its not really a Spoon Billed Sandpiper but something thats nearly as Mad Looking! An almost white Sanderling and this stunner was photographed by Ian Dickey recently at the Myroe Levels. Ian said that at first he thought it was a snowball flying through the air towards him, until he caught himself on and realised it was July and about 23 degrees at the time.

Birdlife International are going to launch an appeal to save the White Myroe Sanderling (it is very endangered)

It appears that this is the bird being reported by eejits as a Semipalmated Sandpiper

Many thanks Ian, absolute cracker!

When Sharks Attack

Another first for the Blog, Sharks!! These amazing photos were taken last night at Portrush by Ronald Surgenor seconds before the Shark attacked the boat cutting it in half and everyone had to make a swim for the shore! It was very frightening and Ronald lost part of his lower leg in the attack but luckily he didn't drop his camera in the frenzy! The photos show a Basking Shark estimated to be about 25 foot long, absolutely superb!

As you can see in this photo there is only half a boat

Special thanks to Ronald!


Look at this mad thing!! Its a cracker and many thanks to Neil McCartney for this explosion of colour and shape! If i was a bumble bee i would be heading straight for this flower! But im not a Bumblebee so i will just sit here admireing this picture.