Wednesday, 10 October 2012

New Nobirds Book

No, it's not the new bird report. We all know that is due within the next ten years as anybody who has previously signed up to the nobirds pyramid bird report scheme will tell you. No, the nobirds are branching out in their quest to educate the world and are just about to publish their new recipe book and a little birdie has given us a sneak peak.

The Hairy Larrys Cookbook

  • Baikal Teal Flannel
Take one Baikal Teal record and let it marinade for over 30 years. Baste occassionally and procrastinate wildly. Pull out remaining hair on your head, give up and start again several times. Serve as a single feather on a plate and sniff.

  • Black Duck Tart
Take one Black Duck of unknown origin. Publicize at a prominent urban location and garnish with loads of other dodgy quacks. Feed bread to it. May leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

  • Potted Portmore Green Woodpecker
Take one Jay and a liberal dose of any hallucinogen that tickles your fancy. Sit with watter up to yer uxters at Portmore Lough for 12 years. Talk liberally to the ponies. Keep taking the pills and eventually you will see a Green Woodpecker. You can do it.

  • Gyr Stew
Take a bird any bird. Mate it with a Gyr Falcon. Spend a tenner on petrol, season with crispy chicken bits and dairylea triangles.

  • Obergruppenf├╝hrer Stinko's Cheeseboard
Fromage du Aigrette - subtle notes of Barry, Larry and Harry. Best accompanied with a can of Stella
Achill Island Man Cheddar - you need to be very manly to eat this

Stinking Bishop - says it all really.

  • Belted Kingfisher Brevity Brunch
Stare at a Belted Kingfisher for ten minutes and then run away