Wednesday, 31 October 2012

OOOOaaaah, Ooooahhh, Hallowe'en

NO! Not Jimmy Saliva!!! OOOaah, ooah, ooahhh! It's Hallowe'en.

What do you do at Hallowe'en? Well, other than being an atheist and not believing in any of that oul shite I do make a turnip/ swede/ turnip lantern to scare of any nobirds that might come along and trick me if I don't buy a membership.
I also make all my family gather round - me, the wife, the wee lad, Jim and Bob the dogs (Jimbog for short), the Chickens (Leslie, Agnes, Brunhilda, Concepta, Rita, Margaret Thatcher, Sissy, Waynetta, Necky, Alison, Specky and Derekella) and try to contact the ghost of Richard Whiteley for answers to pertinent questions that  may trouble us in the year to come.

Richard are you there? It's ok, it's not Jimmy Saville. Richard? Richard? Please answer, we promise that we aren't Gary Glitter neither. Richard? How long will it take the nobirds to publish their report?


Thanks Richard, we knew it would be quite some time. Come to think of it you might be being a bit optimistic.

Richard....what is the one fowl that all the nobirds super mcgarry education team are afraid of?



You did meet the nobirds lot once didn't you? There was this guy called Sancho Panza along with them. What was that he always called the rest of them behind their backs?




So, knowing them as you do Richard, who is behind all their dastardly crapness, surely there is some malevolent, y-fronts, uncunning, digestive biscuit, cheesy, just-for-men, grand fromage behind it all? Who could it be? Tell us Richard, please tell us!!


My god!!! Derk and I knew it was him all along. And to think Derk once lent him a copy of Mein Kampf!!! No wonder he didn't give it back!! Anyway, Richard - thanks for that and Happy Hallowe'en to you!!




You what? You want ten pounds for the service? You must be kidding.? What bank account do we pay it into? Depending upon who you talk to you're either in heaven or hell (we like to think you're in the nice place) but ye never know. What if we wanted a refund? sure ye're dead. There's no way we're paying ten pounds. And thon nobirds clarts owe us a tenner for a report that's still to be printed!!



Now Richard, you're not making any sense any more. I'm going to go now. Ok, see you later? Bye......byyyyeeeee?........Bye-bye!!.....Look Richard would ye just go away will ye? You're getting on a wee bit weird there hey. So ye are.


OOOOOH SPOOKY

For people who haven't been to Nobirds Brain-washing classes and are therefore still in need of an education - pumpkins don't work. Who the feck thought that a pumpkin looks scary? It certainly doesn't work when it comes to scaring off ghosts.
Turnips do work on the other hand - although this is a turnip and not a swede, which is actually a turnip. I wonder what you call a turnip then?


Committee Member No.14


Bird News 31st October

In Co. Antrim:
2 Great Northern Diver were at the mouth of the Sixmilewater yesterday (Keith Stevens)

In Co. Down:
2 Larry McGarrys were seen flying east over some place near Rathfriland (Shelagh Henry)

Thanks to Keith for this pic!!

Rumours

Not only is that an absolutely crap album for old people but Rumours describes this blog quite well. Like this one - there is a rumour that this is the guy who found the Buff-bellied Pipit!!

Waders!


 In the continuing event of no bird news here are some class wader photos by Ian Dickey









Fight at the Reserve

Terrible news from the RSPB Reserve in Belfast. The two new Conick Ponies which are called Harry and Harry Jr came across the Co.Down Pantymime Horse yesterday afternoon photographing Black Tailed Godwits. Fur, hooves and tray bakes flew as the the two Polish Bruiser's got stuck into Pantymime, there is after all only a job for 2 lawnmowers at the reserve and the appearance of Pantymime put their livelyhoods in jeapordy! Harry and Harry Jr gave Panty a kicking and threw him into the channel bruised and bloody, they are such terrible rotters!! On the plus side Ronald was able to capture this great photo of a Black Guillemot on a blood filled ocean!

Bird News Tuesday 30th October

 No bird news worth a toot, it really is shocking in Northern Ireland at the moment. Here are some Hare photos from Ian Dickey!


Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Enough is Enough!


Enough is enough about Jimmy Saville, we need some bird photos after all this is supposed to be a bird blog. But we live in Northern Ireland so birds are in short supply just check flapline and nobirds blog if you dont believe us. Luckily for us Ian Dickey was out of the country for a few days









Nobirds Committee Member 2230


Meet Freddie McGarry the new Nobirds Committee Member. Freddie is in charge of the Christmas Party and liaseing with Max Clifford. We can confirm that Jimmy Saville, Mr Glitter and Freddie Starr never rang Flapline and that the police never found any Nobirds Reports in Paul Gadds flat. However police are investigating hundreds of photos of Larry McGarrys found at Jimmy Saville's Glencoe house that he took while visiting Strangford Lough on a canoeing holiday in the late 80's.

Lighthouses in Ireland


Another one in our series Lighthouses in Ireland. This Lighthouse photo by Ronald Surgenor was taken in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. Ronald took this photo while attending an Al Queada training camp although he was rather surprised as he never seen a ship in his 6 months there. There wasnt any water either but Ronald photoshopped in the sea to make the photo look a bit more interesting, in fact we think he photoshopped in the lighthouse as well. Ronald needs more friends.

White Arse


No Jimmy Saville jokes this time! White Arse is an old Rathlin Island name for Wheatear and Mark Killops has captured this one to a tee! It wasnt taken on Rathlin Island but that doesnt really matter. Mark also tells us he has never met Jimmy Saville or Gary Glitter and we believe him. Mark agrees that Stephen Maxwell does have an uncanny resemblence to Jimmy Saville and this does worry him a little. Thanks Mark!


Monday, 29 October 2012

He is still there!

The third winter Ring Billed Gull is still at Groomsport as these photos by Sam Nelson prove, either that or Sam lived in New York!






Bird News The weekend!

There was no bird news worth a toot this weekend but the big news is that the Polish Ponies have arrived at the reserve. Rumours are circulating that they are called Ronald and Ian although insiders say they are called Jimmy and Garry. The RSPB have said that anyone who wants to buy a lawnmower or who wants a big bad off poo to contact them!

Upland Sandpiper Dundrum

Stand down, dont panic there isnt an Upland Sandpiper at Dundrum and even if there was Andrew wouldnt go and see it. He has had an awful weekend and spent all of it sitting naked in his bedroom with only his "Jim'l'feel you" badge to cover his modesty. Andrew just played his favourite record "Do you want to be in my Gang" on repeat while watching sky news. He still cant believe his best mate Paul Gadd would wear such a shocking woolly hat in front of the media and has refused all of Pauls calls. Things are that bad he never even checked his moth trap this weekend so to try and cheer him up here is a photo of a Moth by Ronald Surgenor, Gary Glitter it isnt!

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Bird Sunday News, So It Is

It's a Sunday - shouldn't you all be in Church?!!

In Co. Antrim:
An adult Med Gull was at Dargan Bay

A Brambling and 12 Chaffinch were at a private site in Broughshane. A Great Northren Diver was at the mouth of the Sixmilewater, Antrim (Keith Stevens)

Here's a link for all you cat owners out there
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cats_actually_kill


Here's another look back to the halcyon days when Dave was doing his.............Dave's Ramble's Through Nature Shorts


Where is Dave?!

........it's been too long. Sort it out Dave


Lough Foyle etc. etc.

Thanks to Christine Cassidy for these pics from the last couple of days from Lough Foyle /Inishowen