Friday, 31 October 2014

A Nobirds Hallowe'en Special


A Nobirds Hallowe’en Special

 

Act IV Scene I

 Setting the scene where senior Nobirder Gustav McGarry is by a misty lighthouse, blaring car horn while a haunted dog is chasing sheep and disturbing wildlife for hours.....
 

Double, double toil and trouble;

Nobirds Reports burn and bubble

In the cauldron, black as night

Like the McGarrys, not too bright.

Round about the cauldron go;

In the made-up records throw –

Honey Buzzard, in bad weather,

No clear view of shape, nor feather;

Adder’s fork, blind-birder’s sting,

Dead Spoonbill and Tawny Owl’s wing –

In the cauldron boil and bake

All those records we know are fake!

Eye of newt and ‘Possible Tit’;

Gaul of goat’s cheese, just a bit,

Double trouble, bubble and boil

Legs of Marsh Sand from the Quoile;

Tail of fox from the reserve -

Bio-crap will not conserve

Such killers let out on the loose.

Throw in photo of Inch Snow Goose;

Make the gruel thick and slab,

All things Nobirds, dull and drab;

Stir in Flapline , make it coarse;

Hoof and hat of Pantymime Horse.

Larry, Garry, Barry, Harry;

Witches of occult, McGarry –

Stir into this hell-broth bunny,

Bat and rats that take your money;

Leave out AGMs and meetings

Lest they spoil their trick and treating

The nation to a proper schooling –

But it’s not all of us they’re fooling!

Webs of lies, a phantom Black Duck,

Nobody really gives a hoot!

Double, double toil and trouble;

‘Tis best to leave them in their bubble.