Wednesday, 29 April 2015


 I think we have to comment on the shambles of  a political TV debate last night, it was a complete and total embarrasment, and i think most people watching will have torn up their polling cards last night.
First up, Mark Burkenhead SDLP. His whole crux was vote for us and we will vota against anything the Tories propose in Westminster. A fantastic negotiating technique in the event of a hung parliment, almost a brilliant plan its that stupid, Nobirds should sign him up
Next Martin McBomb Sniper Sinn Feein. If i got this right there is no reason to vote for the Shinners in a Westminster election other than to stick two fingers up to the Prods, is that a reason for doing anything?
Tranny Kennedy OUP, a muppet if ever there was one. Vote for us and we will protect the union, despite 90-95% of MPS whole will be returned to Westminster are pro unioun MP's, once again you cant make this level of stupidity up. When asked why the OUP has entered into a pact with the Bigoted, Sectarion, Homophobic DUP he as good as answered because we are too, and indeed they are
Niomi Wide Alliance. It is difficult to know where to start with this one. By the look of her what she has achieved aat Westminster is to go around and getting MP's luncheon vouchers that they are not using and then cashing them in! Could not tell us a single thing she has achieved as an MP but she isnt alone there! I reckoned you could fit a whole box of Nobirds reports into those stockings!
And finally the gorgeous Nigel Prods DUP. Did not attempt to hide the fact he is a Sectarian, Homophobe apart from saying we like all the wee gay boys really. If you elect us we will do a deal with the Tories and make all Cat Lickers second class citizens again, class it will just be like the old days, i loved it back then, set your watches back to 1690
More from the Sunny Isle

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Suspect arrested

 News just in is that the PSNI have arrested and charged the Nobirds "suspected Jack Snipe" at Lough Beg and have charged him with impersonating a Common Snipe. This is a very serious charge and the maximum prison sentence if found guilty is two years at the Why O Why Reserve in Belfast!
Also the Carryduff Sawmills rang yesterday to say that the Grey Shrike, twice removed, third cousin of Uncle Buck who lives in Cullybackey has been re-identified as a Pied Wagtail but they did say they had a Hoopoe there 4 weeks ago if that is of interest to anyone and finally...... our under pressure Health Minister (he is still actually the health minister despite apparently resigning)  rang to say that he will be organising a lot of boat trips to some Protestant Scottish Island this summer to look at the Protestant birds over there. No four by twos, fuzzy wuzzys, cat lickers, gay boys, normal people or anyone who doesnt own four bibles and has a British Passport are welcome. Peoples eyes will also be measured before getting on the boat to make sure they are not too close together and feet will also be checked to make sure they are not webbed.  They will be going out in the Good Ship 1690 and of course all McGarrys will get on free, those good old law abiding citizens. Cost of trip will be £10 and there will be several renditions of Nearer My God to thee sung on both the outward and inward journeys. If you have a Swaztika Tatoo you will get on half price. You are asked to keep a note of any Whooper Swans you see on the Journey... only in this little country or state.Jim said they will collect rocks on the island and bring them home just incase they run into Iris Robinson on their return, she needs stoned to death according to the good book (no not the new Nobirds Report)

Some photos from good old Lesvos. Misundstood Jim Wells would love it out there as there are no Catholics (hurrah!) however the place is full of Greek Orthodox (boo hoo) Fair play to Jim he did say the Nobirds are an Abomination we love Jim

Friday, 24 April 2015

Second hand

 It really is the silly season, questions have to be asked, are the Nobirds McGarrys taking hard illegal drugs or have they all just graduated from the Buck Stupid University? We really need to know! Their latest efforts are up there with their best work and would tend to edge you towards the hard drug theory but then again they are completely buck stupid. The old Nobirds "late" report they love them, just love them. The ten day too late Hoopoe, sheer class and the directions they have given are just awful but typically McGarry, "one and a mile from Balloo Croosroads" yes instantly we all know where that is, near what town and if we did find it which direction would we set off on our one and a mile half walk? Might give that one a miss

And then there is the super classis and i qoute
"A second hand and unconfirmed report of a possible grey shrike species has come in from Carryduff Sawmill."
This actually defies belief. Did Craryduff Sawmill ring this in, strange thing for a Sawmill to do mind? Second hand and unconfirmed you really get any any better info than this, its all there and a possible grey shrike species, yep well done guys. As Carryduff is in the middle of the McGarry Hinterland why o why dont they send one of their huddled masses up to check it out? Simple plan for simple people but probably just on the complicated side for them, that would involve opening the front door and going out, perish the thought, getting the map out and looking for Carryduff, mad stuff i know. And the coup de grace trying to work out what a grey shrike species looks like, i know its all too much get back in that door and wait for people to send you sightings of third hand might be not confirmed by Jesus it is one, no its not just up the road 500m or maybe 5 mile it might be a bird or a dead badger, send us a photo and we will send it to someone can we go to the Copeland Island for a day, is the Med Gull still there at World of Wallys? i am getting worried about that Wood Warbler now its been eaten by the White Tailed Eagle, who said that, the Black Kite wasnt in Limavady it was in Co Derry, my head hurts, i know i will take a couple of these pills and count the ten pound notes once more and book us all a little holiday and still have money left over, thats what we will do this weekend.

The Ring Ouzel is on PRIVATE LAND at Glenwherry  DO NOT enter the fields, Nobirds forgot to tell you that, naughty boys. some more from Lesbos

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

More comment needed

 Andrew is taking crack, i dont think there is much doubt about that and i suspect that he has re-joined Nobirds and is launching an offensive against me, maybe he didnt even leave Nobirds and the last lok of years has all been a Nobirds conspiracy and i suspect the Hadricks never left Nobirds either because they feed you rubbish and water down the Vodka, its true. I see Nobirds are sstarting to put sightings on with no name against them (contary to the orders we were given) and the latest is a Great Spotted Woodpecker at Craigagh Wood and who is in charge of Craigagh Wood? Yes its Andrew!! It all links, here are more real birds from Lesvos. I havent spoken to Andrew in 2 years since i moved to Cork, its been great i never want to speak or see him again, he is mad

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Same frigging moth

If Derek the Berk can get away with posting seagulls with no discerning features every day then the following is perfectly acceptable. Here's the same piece of twig as the other day. if you find this boring then it's ok, you're normal. actually, think about it - are you normal? do you want to be? well, good on you. good luck with all that. I'm sure you'll be fine. It'll be grand. A breeze. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Let nothing stand in your way.

Get bleeching over this

In a ragamuffin stylee!!!!.... or maybe not. it's the same bloody moth. different pic but the bugger hasn't moved. And what's happened to his leg?! I'll tell you the truth - it was Derek (as everyone knows - he hates moths)

Here's a detail shot of the primary projection

Here's the same fucking moth again.

And here's your money shot.

Lettuces planted up in the greenhouse. started a fence. checked my moth trap. lovage and elecampane shoots pushing through. sowed some night-scented stock and night phlox seeds. made a chiang mai pork curry. cherry, plum and pear trees coming into blossom. dug out a couple of dozen self-seeded cherry seedlings. lots of borage self-seeded -saves me planting new ones. talked to my mate on the phone had a good old rant and simultaneously had an idea for a one page comic strip (I hope he didn't read my mind). bantam laying - should clock any day now. spent twenty mins looking at shelduck arsing about - silly bastards. worth it to hear the popeye the sailorman impersonations 'ag-ag-ag-ag'. heard my first cuckoo of the year. marigold, yarrow, physalis, sea holly and lavender seeds arrived through the letterbox. handed wife the electricity bill I was going to hide in the car - refused to look at the bottom line. listened to the dandy warhols. finished off a potato curry that was in the fridge, smell lingered for several hours after consumption - a mark of a good curry. A single greenfinch visited my feeders - they're not extinct yet. went to park with wife and kids - they had a great time, I was thinking about the little dot and squiggle that peels across my vision whether I've got my eyes open or not. transplanted sweet cecily plants. looked for leafmines in the garden - not much doing, should have left some bramble at least. stacked some wood. fed cheeseplant. roasted and grinded spices for tomorrows curry. nicotiana seedlings appeared today. looked at beehives with my dad. bought some ice-cream and sat on the promenade like a tourist. ruminated about 'w. crory' on the war memorial - bloody jerry. drank a bottle of wine - successfully veered away from the bosnian serb plum brandy. blackcaps and willow warblers everywhere - saw a lesser black-backed chase off a herring gull over the house (that'd give Derek a stiffy). small tortoiseshells flapping about - herring gull of the butterfly world. saw my first peacock butterfly (should get out more). repaired a bit of wall, that's a lie - repair would involve mortar or cement, placed or stacked some bits of brick would be more accurate. made some firelights. couple of beetles in moth trap - should have kept them for roy. cleaned some beer bottles in preparation for a beer kit. mentally planned out planting for next month (rolling update every 15 mins). had another idea for a comic strip. plotted revenge on several people. drank two bottles of cider. second run of sweet pea seedlings appeared. left cabbages and brussel sprouts out to harden off. starlings found the hole in the garage roof and nesting. nearly forgot to lock chickens in - only four eggs out of the layers, maybe not enough grit, there was severn for eight yesterday! haven't heard any song thrushes around the garden yet - that's weird. read a chapter of my book on the Stern Gang. rhubarb shooting up - should have split the crowns. maybe do a second count on my tystie sections tomorrow. boat painted. pitmaston pine apple tree in the post. clear skies again tonight - glad I live by the coast. didn't look at nobirds - hate them cos they're crap. would have drank more wine but the offy is shut. oystercatcher overhead. that would be news on nobirds. 

What a shit day. I have to run to find a clear spot.

Comment now needed

Well they have gone off the ridiculous scale again (not Andrew, he is permentally off the scale, where is the report Andrew? tou scumbag) yes, its the Nobirds McGarrys. Not content with yesterdays classics they have gone on an all out dumb offensive! A second hand report of a White-tailed Eagle has come in....! What does this mean? They have also conveniently put Derek Brennans name against it, the finding of the Donegal White Tailed Eagle, would be good to know if Derek reported the White Tailed Eagle at Castlerock or if he was the source for the second hand message? Anyway the report is enough to get you into the car, spin the wheels and head the opposite direction and go for the Nobirds Grey Partridge! But where are the Partridge? They cunningly dont say? This is bizzare. Grey Partridge have been extinct in Northern Ireland for 50 years but this news of a refound extant population is world news! Or could it be that these are released birds, non-sustaining and actually worse than Budgies, Cows, Dogs and Cats - who would all maintain a self sustaining population if released into the wild unlike the stupid Partidges, where the climate and habitat doesn't suit them? Who can ever forget the photo they published of a Red-legged Partridge on a sofa??? if you sent them a photo of a Canary or Chough at your local Rugby Club they would put it on, yes they really are that dumb. Not dumb when it comes to the old dosherooney. Yes? just where has eight years of £10 notes gone??? holidays perhaps, nights out certainly - not on a report! Some photos from Lesvos, all wild birds. no bullshit.