Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Ignore if you hate moths

Hi Derek,
People keep saying to me that you don't exist and that you're just a figment of my imagination. So if I were you I would close your imaginary eyes. I know you hate moths but I do think it's a bit extreme that you own a moth trap for no other purpose than to exterminate them. You might get into trouble over that....and your puppy farm....and the drug dealing....and the money laundering....and the backstreet boob-jobs......and the short-selling......and that video of you in the orange bra with some speccy bloke snorting something off your cleavage.....the expulsion of indigenous people from their land.........and red diesel in your car.....and the pirate turbo-folk radio station....and the salmon poaching.....and the poteen still......and the cat-killing.....and the unlicensed cheese-making.....and the shop-lifting .....and the cattle-rustling.......and the hamster-microwaving, bunny-boiling and cock-fighting........and the stringing..........or maybe I imagined all of that.


The Miller


Clouded Magpie