Thursday, 30 July 2015

Who do you think you are?!

Hi Derek,
I see you've taken an interest in moths - could you identify this for me please?

No, I didn't think so - it's easy to separate gulls by genus isn't it?! they're 99% Larus. Do you have a copy of Skinner?!........I didn't think so....because if you did and knew about moths you probably wouldn't use it but if you knew what you were talking about you'd buy it anyway because then it would look like you knew what you were talking about!!!

Still haven't identified it? I didn't think so,

I bet you don't even know why strawberries are named strawberries, how some clampet from Annalong shaped the Middle East and why some eejit from Crossgar increased the chances of being imprisoned in a Viet Cong POW camp??? I DIDN'T THINK SO!!! I'll give you a clue, it's a Dioryctria. Can't say fairer than that Derek - now, cough up an answer or I will consider myself besmirched. I was trying so much to be nice and not angry and you're ruining it.I'm angry now. Really angry. Like, so angry I'm not going to eat my dinner. thanks Derek, you bastard. why do you always have to be such a bastard?

Yours Considerably

Vice-Admiral Artichoke.......(I was out fishing today and I ate a globe artichoke, tomorrow I might be Corporal Shotgun Fairy-cake)