Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Animal Cruelty

It is with regret that we announce the death of the Formerly Popular Newcastle Black Redstart. Hounded incessantly by birdwatchers the poor wee thing was found in the early hours of this morning by the man who works in Around-a Pound. It was delicately placed in a Country Fried Chicken box, set alight and floated out sea. The event has not gone un-noticed by local people, one man commented 'Bugger off, the lot of ye, ye buncha weirdos. Go on and bugger off now, are ye deaf or something?'.

So, the moral of the story is - stay away from Newcastle, you're not from round here so you're not welcome unless you're spending money