Friday, 6 May 2016


Eddie Izzard  once said on stage in the Ulster Hall there is more chance of a Nobirds Report appearing on my doormat than there is of me seeing a Belted Kingfisher in Northern Ireland. Eddie known for his rapid wit and repartee and his offbeat tangents was kind of half right and half wrong. In a Louis Theroux expose it turned out Eddie didn't own a doormat and just rented a door (he couldn't get a mortgage as comedy is just seasonal). Why hasn't anyone made Oceans 15? George Clooney must be nearly 60 by now and will they ever make another Fight Club? The first rule of flight club is don't send Nobirds a tenner, that will be the last you will ever see of that! Majella once heard a Belted Kingfisher, this is a true story and I didn't believe her, absolutely true, five minutes later we were watching Belted Kingfisher and all this took place in Ireland. All this didn't take place in my mind but in County Galway and even more surreal five minutes later Larry McGarry appeared can it get anymore weird? Yes it can because just 2 minutes later Larry disappeared not to Hooded Merganser heaven but to Achill Island, I often suspected Larry was actually Emu because he always looked as if Rod Hull had his hand up his well pressed slacks. But I digress I haven't seen an Ivory Gull in Northern Ireland because lets face it who has? Norman Milligan once found an Ivory Gull in Bangor but moved to Scotland to avoid press intrusion. Walter H Veale one of the nicest men on the planet and he also knows an inordinate amount about ancient monuments in County Down once seen an Ivory Gull and then some people seen his bare arse, another true story! Mr Crory also seen an Ivory Gull but kept his not very well pressed trousers on but bizarre as it seems a Belted Kingfisher once turned up at Dundrum just yards from his house and his dad shot it, it gets even more bizarre. For punishment his dad was forced to open a shoe shop in Newcastle until Donald Trump became President of the USA it all links. Dave Hadrick who hasn't even seen a Kingfisher in Northern Ireland is forced every Easter to go to Cyprus to watch large gull species in Cyprus by Gull Floozy Orcilla who has found new ways to tell Hugliens from Black Headed and Little Gull from Belted Kingfisher  Dave once proclaimed from his garden "I cant see anything without my glass of cider"
So ladies and jellyspooons was there a Nobirds Belted Kingfisher? The photo above tells us that there was a Belted Kingfisher in Northern Ireland (thanks to my mum Mrs Charles for the above photo)